What does a pain in my right hip occurring during my daily walk in Vermont have to do with meeting a part of my soul? Having been a long time student and proponent of Louise Hay’s* work connecting pains, diseases and disorders with emotional issues, I quickly deduced that this pain reflected my “fear of letting go, father energy and fear of moving forward in major decisions”. My curiosity was further piqued as I learned that a close friend and his wife were also suffering from various levels of pain in their right hips.
While searching for the meaning of these hip connections, I was told during a “soul attunement”* session that this man, his wife and I had been in a past life together in the backyard of my current home. I was a young half-breed girl around age 10, part Native American and part white, who was gang raped by a group of white boys. The group’s leader, my friend’s wife in this lifetime, led the charge to rape me repeatedly and leave me for dead. My friend, who was the group leader’s sister, age 5, watched in horror feeling helpless to rescue me. The older brother told his sister that if she said anything, the same horrible fate would be hers. In this lifetime, my friend’s wife is an extremely angry, emotionally unstable woman. And, my friend, who has had poor vision since childhood, was left legally blind when during an intense argument with his wife, something popped in his left eye. Could it be that this past life experience caused him to choose not to see things clearly this lifetime, especially regarding his wife?
As I attempted to integrate this startling information, I was guided to walk a 7-path labyrinth in the back yard of my home each morning while singing “Amazing Grace” for what became four months. Labyrinths are ancient sacred symbols having one path to/from the center that are used for walking meditation. The 7-path design, the most ancient labyrinth, can have either a right or left entrance. During my work with labyrinths for the previous 4 – 5 years I had a deep connection to the left entrance labyrinth and no connection to the right entrance design. Knowing each of these designs by heart enabled me to walk either one without a visible design on the ground thus leaving no trace, as was the common practice of Native Americans when they traveled this land to ensure they could not be followed. Each morning as I prepared for this walk, I asked my guidance whether walking a right or left entrance design was in my highest good at that time. The answer during those months was always to walk the right entrance design where the first turn is to the right continuing counterclockwise to the next turn. Not long after this ritual began I learned that the counterclockwise direction has the energy of “letting go” thus supporting my healing process on the path to forgiveness. Such validation of the guidance I was receiving.
As those healing labyrinth walks continued, a call from a woman who participated in a labyrinth walk I’d done some eight months before on January 1, 2000, was the catalyst for the unfolding of the remainder of this story. She and her husband, who lived in Essex Center, VT, 35 miles from my home, had recently bought the house next door as a rental property. She wanted me to help clear the many spirits that were in that house. Even though I had been dowsing* for several years, I had never cleared spirits and was stunned that she chose me to ask. And, just as stunned by my immediate “Yes!” response.
When meeting with this couple, they comfortably described experiences they’d had with spirits they’d seen in their house through the years. Having spirits or ghosts in Vermont houses is not uncommon as many homes there are over 200 years old. When the husband led me to the rental house, I quickly noticed that the property was adjacent to a very old cemetery. No wonder spirits and ghosts were bountiful. As we meandered through this old farmhouse, he described many of the spirits there. Entering the upstairs hallway, he identified the spirit of a young girl in the far left corner of the hall as terrified. That energy was so palpable we kept our distance.
When I returned to the rental house a few weeks hence, the husband said three spirits remained. My dowsing confirmed that the two spirits downstairs were connected to the Abenaki woman (a Native American tribe found in the Northeast U.S. and Canada) who had since rented the house and would be moving in soon. The third spirit, the girl upstairs in the hallway corner, was mine to clear.
During a spiritual reading shortly thereafter, I was told that the terrified girl in the upstairs hallway was the same girl (me in that past life) who had been gang raped in my Waitsfield backyard in 1789. Even though left for dead in Waitsfield, she managed to traverse the 35 miles to Essex Center, VT. She soon met a much older white man who showered her with loving kindness while supporting her physical and emotional healing. Being an ostracized and scorned half-breed, she cautiously entered uncharted waters by allowing this man to help her. Their relationship eventually grew into marriage. Somehow he discovered he was her biological father, which was against state laws. Knowing they both would be killed if anyone found out, he took matters into his hands by strangling her before taking his life. This man was also my father in this life. Finally I understood why I’d been terrified of my father throughout my childhood, believing that he could kill me in an instant.
Each time I’d been in the upstairs hallway of the rental house, the girl’s energy screamed, “Stay away”!! Her terror of anyone coming close to her was now understandable knowing she’d been blindsided and killed by the one person whom she had grown to trust and love.
Since clearing this spirit meant supporting her transition to the “other side”, I was guided to create a ritual with her in that hallway that would release her from the 200+ years of pain and suffering she had endured. Knowing the new tenants had moved into the rental house, I called the owner to ask for access to do the ritual. When the owner heard the story, she assured me a visit could be easily arranged. She also added that the teenagers in the house had found a doll in a rocking chair in the attic and placed her in the same corner of the hallway where the spirit was.
Once access to the rental house was granted, I entered the space full of love and compassion for this part of my soul/spirit. And, nothing could have prepared me for the sight of the doll in the rocking chair at the end of the hallway. Her golden hair was matted in disarray with her clothes, including panties, ripped and torn, mirroring how I imagined I had been left after the gang rape.
Slowly approaching her, I sat cross-legged on the floor a few feet away, speaking gently and lovingly to her about why I was there and how I wanted to help her leave the earth plane and return home. When it felt right, I carefully brought the doll into my rocking arms as “Amazing Grace” flowed from my heart. Intermittently, I assured her of her safety and complete protection.
This September afternoon in Essex Center was beautiful, clear and very still. The attic door in the right corner of the hallway was closed. When the time felt right, I called for all our guides and angels to be with us. Out of that still afternoon, an enormously strong wind began to blow outside the house, soon causing the attic door to swing wide open as multitudes of guides and angels surrounded us filling the hallway. In addition to this most extraordinary sight, a deep sense of protection and love for me and this special part of my soul pulsed through my body.
A 7-circuit stone labyrinth, created by the owners, was in the front yard of this house. A quartz crystal and small teddy bear accompanied me for use in the final part of this ritual. When it was time to leave the doll and the hallway, my spirit and I headed for the labyrinth. My stated intention was for us to walk the labyrinth path until we reached the center, where I would release this part of my soul to begin her journey home. The quartz crystal acted as a healing light beam to guide her journey, while the teddy bear continued to support her healing and integration. Leaving both the crystal and bear in the center, I began my journey out of the labyrinth feeling filled to overflowing with the magic of miracles and the strength of wholeness.
This experience deepened my understanding while increasing my compassion and empathy toward my father, my friend, his wife and myself. The hip pain that started this journey subsided as the labyrinth walks and insights continued. The “hip connections” between my friend, his wife and me, graphically revealed during the gang rape, raised awareness of our current relationships with each other: why he was so easily controlled by her, why I so feared her even though I’d never met her, why his sight both physically and emotionally became so much clearer after he divorced her and why he feels so compelled to support and take care of me. My fears of letting go and moving forward in my life and work diminished greatly as I could finally forgive my father realizing that his reason for strangling me in that life came from love, even protection, rather than betrayal. The depth of my appreciation for how past life exploration can impact and heal current relationships and lives has grown through this extraordinary journey beyond belief.
* Louise Hay, “You Can Heal Your Life”, 1984, Hay House, Inc., Santa Monica, CA.
Louise Hay, “Heal Your Body”, 1988, Hay House, Inc., Carlsbad, CA
* “Soul Attunement”, sessions conducted by Carol May, Sacred Voice for the Light, www.lotusgrid.com
* Dowsing allows one to obtain information in a manner beyond the scope and power of the standard human physical senses of sight, sound, touch, etc. using kinesiology, copper L-shaped rods, pendulums, Y-shaped rods or sticks. American Society of Dowsers: www.dowsers.org
To schedule a Past Life Regression session, visit: www.journeybeyondbelief.com.
Copyright Journey Beyond Belief 2009