Marianne Williamson’s “Our Greatest Fear” provides a powerful reminder:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened bout shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.”
She eloquently calls each of us to “step up to the plate” by not only claiming our gifts and talents, but also offering what is ours to contribute to our own health and well being as well as that of the planet while generating the life of our dreams.
What’s Stopping You?
Have you been searching for what you are “supposed to” DO as your life purpose? First, the words “supposed to”, “have to”, “should” and “ought to” beg the question “Who says?” These are commands or warnings from parents, teachers, religious leaders, bosses and/or spouses to ensure you conform to conventional wisdom, societal customs and/or beliefs so you don’t rock the boat. Allowing these words and beliefs to run your life keeps your potential constrained at best or debilitated at worst. People pleasing, which causes you to lose all of who you are to ensure everyone else is happy, is another behavior that robs you of living your life. Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired?
We are called human beings not human doings for a reason. Our purpose is to BE all of the unique being we are. The distraction of our “doing” addiction feeds the ego while continuing our efforts to keep the boat from rocking. Judgment and saying “I don’t know” will stop energy faster than anything. Notice how often you are interspersing “I don’t know” with judging yourself and others. Believing you don’t know is a lie. You’ve just buried that knowing to validate other’s wishes/expectations of you. Judgment, also a lie, reinforces what others have told you about yourself, again pressuring you to conform to lessen others’ discomfort. After leaving a lucrative corporate career to start my own business, I was frequently asked, “How’s your business going?” I felt compelled to provide a positive answer even though I was only 3 months into creating my business. A wise friend told me that what I’d done deeply impacted those who knew me and really wanted to take that leap but were too afraid. Their questions were an attempt to ease their discomfort by trying to bring me back into the fold. My positive answers were meant to reinforce to them and me that I’d made the right choice. Are your fears of not being good enough, that someone else has already thought it/done it, worrying what people will think, not having the money or the backing, it being too much work, failing and/or losing friends and family growing steadily? Do these excuses feel heavier or lighter? If they feel heavier, they are lies for you. If they feel lighter, they are truth for you.
Releasing Your Fears
1. Fear, an acronym for False Evidence Appearing Real, is always future based and a lie. Return to the present moment, which is really all you ever have, where things are always fine.
2. Lovingly embrace your feelings allowing them to surface and dissipate.
3. Review the outcomes of leaps you’ve experienced. What gifts and blessings did you receive that you couldn’t have imagined? Acknowledge and be grateful for the gifts you’ve received from the people, places and things of your past that will always be with you to lift your spirits and support your next steps. Create a Gratitude List and post it in a prominent place.
4. Per Wayne Dyer’s book, “Your Erroneous Zones”, there are no right or wrong decisions, only choices you make with available information. As you follow your chosen path, more data is gathered guiding your next choices including course corrections. Nothing is forever and you are always at choice.
5. Stop increasing your fear by judging anything, including yourself, as right or wrong, success or failure, good or bad thus stopping movement immediately.
6. Deepen your faith, peace, connection with your truth, and/or God/Spirit, however you define that, through journaling, spending time in nature, meditation or whatever brings you to stillness.
7. Realize that all changes are invitations to living more fully from your authentic self and purpose.
8. The Universe/Spirit/God hasn’t brought you this far to drop you now. Everything is possible when you have faith.
9. Release your desire to control what other people will think. How YOU relate to what’s happening is the only thing in life you can control.
10. People who choose to leave your life create space for great new people to arrive who resonate with your real self.
Accessing Your Potential
Potential is defined as “the inherent ability or capacity for growth, development or coming into being”. Clues and validation of your gifts, talents, abilities are constantly supporting you to come into being all of who you are. Yet the high value our culture puts on hard work, multi-tasking and long hours can effectively bury your awareness of what brings you joy while ensuring that nothing done easily and quickly is seen as valuable. My mother’s favorite sayings, “Working my fingers to the bone” and “Working myself to death” sowed the seeds quite early for my becoming a workaholic resulting in several bouts with burnout and health issues. How can you discover your potential?
Ask yourself, and those who know you, the following questions, then spend time with the answers:
1. What do you love to do?
2. What comes easily and quickly that inspires people to frequently compliment you?
3. What are you doing when you stay focused and engaged, losing all track of time?
4. What energizes and excites you that feels playful?
5. What dream(s) have you had for many years?
6. Who/what can support you in owning more of your potential?
7. How could accessing your potential contribute to your life and life on the planet?
Was it hard to receive the answers from yourself and others? Did you immediately dismiss some or all of the compliments and responses? Do you believe you deserve to have the life of your dreams? If not, why? What keeps you from trusting yourself and receiving compliments and support? Write what immediately comes to mind. Difficulties receiving and owning what you deserve are blocking you from truly claiming your potential as the phenomenal being you are. Does it feel lighter or heavier to continue to hold onto those blocks?
Your illuminating answers can light the path to greater awareness and clarity. Many women struggle with accessing our potential as it challenges the caretaker programming we’ve had for eons to ensure everyone else’s needs are met, leaving us and our needs, talents and abilities at the gate. If not now, when will you connect with how gorgeous, talented, brilliant and fabulous you are? It’s your time to change the world by shining your light so other can shine theirs! The world is waiting…….What else is possible?